Talking to toddlers: it's not an option, it's a necessity!

I was unfortunate enough to be stuck in an A and E department for 2-3 hours the other afternoon. The only thing to do was people-watch. There were several elderly  ladies who had had falls, a teenage girl who was constantly being sick, two workman who were limping and many more walking wounded. Among them was a mother and her baby with a rash, who was probably about 18 months. He was strapped in his pushchair with nothing whatsoever to occupy him. His mum was talking on her phone, texting, listening to music on her head phones and looking out of the window which was too high up for him to see.

He had nothing to occupy him whatsoever! The best thing he could have had was otherwise occupied with her own things.

The only words she said to him were 'no' and 'stop that'.

He tried making her laugh to get her attention, he tried wriggling to get out, he cried, he made eye contact and jargoned, he pointed....indeed he tried every bit of his communicative repertoire but all to no avail. In the end he just screamed and then sobbed!

This made me feel really sad. The mother obviously cared for him. He was clean, fed and his physical needs were met but he was being neglected! The mother would not have sat there for all that time with nothing to do yet that's what she expected of her son.

I maintain that all parents want the best for their children but they need to know what that is. Let's have a public information drive so parents realise they should be talking to their babies and young children! It took a while before 'clunk, click every trip' took off but now everyone wears their seat belt. What catch phrase can you think of to headline the campaign?

Hanen: A tip for parents of young children who communicate without words

Take a look at this tip from Hanen

They offer sensible, practical advice and programmes to help parents and practitioners. Communication opportunities are everywhere. Have  a look at this one:

Sing songs with your child and build in opportunities for him to take turns

Sing simple songs with your child, especially ones with actions, like “Row Row Row your Boat”, and build in opportunities for him to participate. This is a fun way for him to learn to take his turn in an interaction, as well as to learn new words.

• Sing a new song the same way a few times so your child learns the song and its “high point”. High points are the most interesting parts of a song. In “Row, Row, Row your Boat”, the high points are the rocking back and forth while you and your child sit on the floor, holding outstretched hands, and saying the last word after a long pause – i.e., “dream”.

• Once your child is familiar with the song, pause before a high point and wait for him to respond.

For example, when singing “Row Row Row your Boat”, sing the song through once or twice and then, still holding his hands, WAIT for him to ask you to sing it again (he will probably make a sound or rock back and forth to ask you to do it again).

Or, you can start to sing the song while rocking back and forth, pausing mid-song so he can ask you to continue.

Or, you can slow down and pause before the last word (“dream”), so he can make a sound - any sound - to end the song.

• To take his turn during songs, your child may wriggle, make a sound, look at you, point to something or perform an action. Accept anything as his turn and then continue immediately. The most important thing is that he takes a turn and has fun while doing it.

Small Talk are licensed Hanen Trainers www.private-speech-therapy.co.uk Please let us know if you would like to know more about the training we could do for you

How do I talk to my 2 year old?

As you may know we run classes for two year olds called Teeny Talkers and I keep being asked what parents can do to help at home. Here is lots of communication advice for your two year old from our esteemed colleagues at Talking Matters:


Two year olds are active and sociable and “into everything”. From around two years children go through a period of rapid growth in their communication skills, developing from a toddler experimenting with combining words to a three year old who can use sentences and hold simple conversations. Children who communicate better, interact better with others and manage their emotions and behaviour more effectively, so there are pay offs in the long run for helping your child develop good skills now. Here are some ideas to develop your child’s communication skills.


Two year olds should be using at least 50 single words and putting short phrases of two or three words together. Their speech should include a range of different speech sounds though they may not use them correctly in all words. Not everything that they say may be clear and they may still use some babble when trying to express themselves but familiar people should understand much of what they say.


By two and a half years children can understand:
 what things are used for (what goes on your feet?)
 simple concepts such as big/little, hot/cold, in/out
 the difference between “he” and “she”
 follow simple instructions “find your shoes”
By two and a half years children can say:
 many single words and two word combinations
 some describing words “big”, “hot”
 ask some simple questions “what’s that?” ”where’s Dad?”
 use words for possession “mine, my teddy, daddy’s shoe”
 use plurals “two dogs”
answer yes/no, what and where questions.


To help your child develop word combinations:
1. Build a solid base of single words. Children usually need around 50 single words before they begin this stage. Even after they begin to use two words they will need to continue to learn more single words to continue to develop their language skills. It is usually easier to learn a new word as a single word at this stage e.g. “zebra” then later combine it “baby zebra” “zebra eating” etc.
2. Develop a variety of word types. Children begin by learning lots of names of people and things. To develop two word combinations they often need to combine these nouns with a different type of word such as an action word or a descriptive word. Action words are particularly important as they form the basis of sentences later on.


Help your child learn a range of different words including:
 action words: eat, sleep, jump, dance, run;
 describing words: big, funny, sad, hot, wet;
 position words; up, in, under,
 possessive words: mine, yours,

3. Expand the single words your child does say by adding another word. Try to repeat it a couple of times if you can.
Sometimes you might add another word you know they can say e.g. Child “bye” Adult “bye Dad, Dad’s go-ing shopping, bye Dad”. Sometimes you might add a new word. Child “more” Adult “toast, more toast, you like the toast, more toast.”
Your child does not need to copy you, just hearing what you say will help and they will use that phrase when they are ready. If they do try to copy you though, respond positively. If what they say is not clear still be positive and say it again clearly for them. E.g. child “more toat” Adult “yes more toast”.


Practice games and activities where you can repeat word combinations over and over a number of times.
Activities could include;
 Bath time: wash + body part “wash face, wash arms, wash tummy”
 Mealtime: eat + food name “eat peas, eat carrots, eat meat”
 Dressing: clothing name + on “shirt on, pants on, socks on, hat on”
 Ball play: action + ball “roll ball, push ball, kick ball, catch ball”
 Car play: car + action/position “ car go, car stop, car up, car in, car down”
 Block play "build up, more blocks, fall down"
 Outside play "Alex + run/jump/climb/slide" "Alex under/over/in/out/through"
 Hiding dolls or animals and finding them “hello teddy, goodbye puppy”
 Matching games “Two apples, more dog”
When your child does produce two words together all by themselves expand them to three words to keep them learning.


We'll look at some more ideas next time


Talking Matters offices are located at the Elizabeth East Shopping Centre, 53 Midway Road, Elizabeth East.  They also have an office in Kapunda for families in the Barossa/Mid North area. http://talkingmatters.com.au/

Too busy to talk to our children... so what?

If you are asked the question: what makes humans different to animals? Many people would answer that it is our unique ability to communicate. However, in the 21st century this fantastic achievement is being eroded. Language learning just seemed to happen effortlessly and easily in the past. Without TV, computer games, DVDs etc it was much easier to 'just' interact. 


As well as the technological developments there are other pressures of modern living which are having a major impact on this interaction.This was conformed by a recent ICAN survey which reported on parents' busy lives.The survey of 2,000 parents by children’s communication charity I CAN found that parents often have to work longer hours and therefore spend less time with their children. Three-quarters of those surveyed are taking on extra work and 35 per cent admitted increased workloads meant they rarely have time to talk to their children. One in five parents said they are too tired to talk with their children when they get home from work and 55 per cent said they have less quality time with them due to work.

Among those surveyed, one in five has taken a second job and a similar proportion is taking work home. A third said work calls or responding to emails at home often hampers attempts to talk with their children. 

Yet the lack of parental interaction can cause a huge knock on effect. Parents have a major role to play in developing their children's speech, language and communication skills so paucity of their interaction means that spoken language skills will not be as good as they should be. This will then later affect schooling as they need an appropriate level of spoken language  before they are ready to learn written language.Too many children are starting school without these necessary levels.


It is very hard being a parent today, we have many, many pressures to cope with which weren't around in the 60s and 70s and so many other issues that make us feel guilty for not being the perfect parent. I should know, I am a single parent with my own business,  which is may be the worst combination for time demands. However, it's vital to make time for them as that's probably the most important thing you can do.

We've all made New Years resolutions about dieting, getting fit, earning more money but may be we should have a resolution of just spending more quality time with our children. I want mine to look back at their childhood and remember the time we had together, not that I was too busy for them. At the end of the day they are more important than anything else. 


I've just done a reality check and know I could be better, how about you?


Our Pre-School groups are ideal to focus on pre-school interaction. We are also Hanen licensed Speech and language therapists so qualified to encourage parent-child interaction   www.smarttalkers.org.uk www.private-speech-therapy.co.uk

How to be a good parent: A 5 a day plan to help

Parents should adopt a "five-a-day" approach, with daily activities to help children reach their full potential, a report has said. A BBC news article last week discussed that parents need help to bring up their children in the best possible way. I believe that many people have lost their way with parenting; we have many families where there are 2 or 3 generations of poor parenting now which is bound to have repercussions. I see the knock on effect of this almost everyday where children are not being stimulated sufficiently so their spoken language skills are detrimentally affected. Obviously the Hello campaign is working to address this issue but what about the other aspects? How much screen time, how to say no, how to build their self esteem. Everyone has a right to be secure, loved and valued; would these 5- a day rules help?

You can read the full story at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14403919  These steps include reading to their child, praising them and talking to them with the television switched off. 

The think tank CentreForum says the government should start a national campaign promoting better parenting with a model similar to the five-a-day scheme which encourages people to eat fruit and vegetables, to give parents manageable steps.

Continue reading the main story

Five steps to help your child

• Read to your child for 15 minutes
• Play with your child on the floor for 10 minutes
• Talk with your child for 20 minutes with the television off
• Adopt positive attitudes towards your child and praise them frequently
• Give your child a nutritious diet to aid development

The report's author, Chris Paterson, said the most important factor influencing a child's intellectual and social development was the quality of parenting and care they received.

He said evidence suggested children from poorer backgrounds were much less likely to experience a "rich home learning environment" than those growing up in wealthier households.

Studies showed that more affluent parents spent more time reading to their children and talking to them and were more likely to praise them than tell them off, he said.

He said mothers and fathers from all backgrounds could make a difference to their children's life chances by following some simple rules.

"Parents from all social and educational backgrounds can and do provide home environments that are highly conducive to child development," the report said.

Mr Paterson told the BBC it should not be assumed that everyone knew how to be a good parent.

I believe the recent rioting reflects poor parenting; they didn't respect anyone else's property, felt it was OK to steal, throw missiles at police and set fire to cars and shops. They just thought of themselves and wanted to get rich quick. The values that would have prevented this are all things we need to teach our children. Plus, where did the parents think they were? 

I'd welcome your comments