Why does my child ask so many questions?

I was reading an email from a parent today who mentioned that the key feature of her child's expressive language is questions. It reminded me of the first time I came across this. Around 1988, I was working in a Primary School 4 mornings a week supporting a child who had left a language unit but still required intensive support. While in the classroom, I observed another child, James aged 8. He was autistic and continually asked, "Is it home time yet?" His teacher was understandably very frustrated as it started from very early in the morning and lasted all day. By lunchtime she was sending him out of the classroom. She felt he was deliberately winding her up. If she asked back "Is it hometime?" He would say "No." She had tried yelling, warning, banning.....nothing worked. I asked if I could assess him. It turned out that his verbal understanding was really poor and his expressive ability wasn't much better. He had alot of sesniry seeking behaviurs too (OTs didnt do sensory in the NHS at that stage). It wasnt as simple as he just didnt want to be there because everything was too hard, he was using the question/phrase for a variety of reasons. Many children espcially autistic children go through phases (or long-term patterns) of talking almost entirely in questions, sometimes asking dozens or even hundreds per day. This can feel confusing or exhausting for adults, but it’s usually communication, not “testing boundaries”. ✅ Why an autistic child may ask so many questions (and it may be more than one!) 1. Anxiety regulation (“If I know what's happening, I feel safe”) Questions are often a way to reduce uncertainty. Instead of small social reassurances (“It’s okay”, a glance, a gesture), autistic children use verbal checking: “Are we going now?” “What time will we get there?” “Will it rain?” “Are you sure?” “Is that right?” The questions act like an anxiety release valve. 2. Monoprocessing + need for predictability If the world feels unpredictable or overwhelming, questions help create structure. They anchor the child: * What’s the plan? * What’s next? Even questions they already know the answers to (like James above). Repeated questions = predictability-seeking behaviour, not defiance. 3. Language development – especially gestalt processors Some autistic children use questions as their preferred sentence shape. If they are gestalt language processors, they may echo: “Is that a digger?” “What are you doing?” “Are we nearly there?” Sometimes they know the answer; the question is just the “frame” they use to speak. 4. Social connection attempts Questions can be the easiest way for the child to: * start interactions * keep an adult engaged * avoid silence * express interest It’s social communication, even if it doesn’t look like typical back-and-forth. 5. Processing delay Questions come in a stream because the child may be: * thinking aloud * processing information externally * checking their understanding Question = processing tool. 6. Demand avoidance For some children (especially PDA profiles), questions serve to: * delay a demand * create control * feel safe before complying The child isn’t trying to be difficult; they’re trying to stay regulated. ✅ How to manage it without shutting the child down A. Meet the underlying need first If it’s anxiety-driven, the solution is predictability + co-regulation, not “fewer questions”. Try: * visual timelines * “first–then–next” sequences * environment previews (“We’re going into Tesco. It will be busy. We need milk and bread.”) Often this reduces the flood of questions on its own. B. Give “pre-answers” Before an anxiety-provoking activity, give the key information up front: “We’ll leave in 10 minutes. When I say ‘shoes’, that’s the 5-minute warning. In the car, we’re listening to your music.” This stops the child needing to ask everything. C. Use a “question bank” or “ask card” system For children who ask rapid-fire factual questions: * “That’s a great question—let’s write it down to explore later.” * Use a notepad or tablet. * At an agreed time, choose 1–3 questions to answer properly. This teaches containment, not suppression. D. Offer “comment models” If the child communicates in question-shaped sentences, you can gently model: Child: “Is that a big lorry?” Adult: “Yes—it’s a big lorry! Really loud too.” Child: “Are we going to Nanny’s after school?” Adult:“Yes, after school we’re going to Nanny’s.” No correction, just giving a declarative model. E. If the questions are repetitive Respond with a consistent, predictable phrase, for example: * “Same answer as before.” * “You’re thinking about that again—I get it.” * “The plan is still the same.” * “You’re checking—everything is okay.” This removes the reward loop of multiple detailed explanations, but still meets their need for reassurance. F. Use sensory or emotional regulation strategies When the questions spike, it often signals dysregulation. Try: * a movement break * deep pressure input * a quiet space * headphones * a regulating activity (lego, drawing, sorting) If the nervous system calms, the questions drop. G. For PDA profiles Shift from answering to sideways scaffolding, e.g.: * “Hmm, I wonder…” * “Let’s figure that out together.” * “You’re curious about the next bit.” * “Good thinking.” This reduces demand while still engaging. When I meet the little boy we were discussing this morning, it might be something completely different!

✅ When to be concerned Consider extra support if: * questions cause significant distress * they interfere with daily life * questions are accompanied by rising panic * the child becomes aggressive when you cannot answer * they're asking literal medical/emotional safety questions repeatedly (“Will I die if…?”) I love working in an MDT for these ones as we can brain-storm together!