Tuesday, 9 September 2025
When Language Blooms: The Everyday Magic of Speech and Play
As a speech and language therapist, I spend much of my time thinking about what happens when communication is hard work. I spend hours analysing why words don’t come, why sentences don’t form, why interactions stall. But every now and then, I’m reminded of just how miraculous – and frankly astonishing – language development is when it all goes to plan.
This week my 23-month-old granddaughter gave me one of those moments. While deep in imaginative play with a train set and some toy animals, she came out with:
“This teddy too big put zebra in.”
At first glance it might sound like a jumble of words, but look more closely and you’ll see all the ingredients of early grammar bubbling up beautifully:
She’s working with size concepts (“too big”).
She’s problem-solving in real time, narrating her play as she works it out.
She’s stringing together four-plus words in a sequence that has logic, flow and intent.
For a child not yet two years old, this is nothing short of amazing. It’s her brain showing that the building blocks of grammar – subject, size/quality, action, solution – are falling into place through play, not drills or flashcards.
Why this matters
Language isn’t something analytical language processors learn by rote; it grows out of real experiences, meaningful relationships, and playful problem-solving. When a toddler is surrounded by responsive adults, stories, songs, and conversation, their brain soaks it up and begins weaving words into ideas. What my granddaughter did in that moment was more than just talking – it was thinking out loud, using language to organise the world.
The professional and the grandmother collide
As a professional, I could break her utterance down into developmental milestones, sentence complexity, semantic categories and syntax. As a grandmother, I just sat in awe. Both parts of me agreed on one thing: this is a small miracle.
A reminder
We sometimes forget how extraordinary it is that humans learn to talk at all. In less than two years, a child moves from cooing and babbling to making themselves understood with strings of words that capture ideas, jokes, and stories.
So when it all comes together like this – a toddler, some animals, and an unprompted sentence that captures a whole scene – I can’t help but celebrate.
Language development is a marvel. And every now and then, the children in our lives gift us a moment that reminds us why.
Wednesday, 3 September 2025
When should you worry about your little one?
'Oh don't worry he's fine!' Just wait and see!' Parents often have an instinct when something isn't quite right but are fobbed off by well meaning family or friends.
Let's have a look at when should you seek help?
We strongly recommend that you seek help from a speech-language therapist if your child:
By 12 months
• doesn’t babble with changes in tone – e.g. dadadadadadadadada
• doesn’t use gestures like waving “bye bye” or shaking head for “no”
• doesn’t respond to her/his name
• doesn’t communicate in some way when s/he needs help with something
By 15 months
• doesn't understand and respond to words like "no" and "up"
• says no words
• doesn't point to objects or pictures when asked “Where’s the...?
• doesn’t point to things of interest as if to say “Look at that!” and then look right at you
By 18 months
• doesn’t understand simple commands like "Don't touch"
• isn’t using at least 20 single words like "Mommy" or "up"
• doesn’t respond with a word or gesture to a question such as “What’s that? or “Where’s your shoe?”
• can’t point to two or three major body parts such as head, nose, eyes, feet
By 24 months
• says fewer than 100 words
• isn’t consistently joining two words together like "Daddy go" or “ shoes on”
• doesn’t imitate actions or words
• doesn’t pretend with toys, such as feeding doll or making toy man drive toy car
By 30 months
• says fewer than 300 words
• isn’t using action words like “run”, “eat”, “fall”
• isn’t using some adult grammar, such as “two babies” and “doggie sleeping”
3-4 years
• doesn’t ask questions by 3 years
• isn’t using sentences (e.g., "I don't want that" or "My truck is broken") by three years
• isn’t able to tell a simple story by four or five years
If you’ve noticed one or more of these warning signs in your child, it’s important that you ignore hose well meaning people and seek help. Many NHS areas have a drop-in session. We have sessions with the Speech and language Therapy assistant to screen to see if further assessment is needed.
When Words Aren’t Needed: How hand squeezes, half-smiles, and song clips can carry the strongest messages.
When people think about communication, the first thing that usually comes to mind is *talking*. We place so much importance on spoken words that it can feel as though communication hasn’t really happened unless something has been said out loud. But that’s not true. Communication is so much more than words.
I’ve been reminded of this very personally in recent weeks. My father has had a stroke. He can’t speak, and he has no use of the right side of his body. And yet yesterday, he still communicated powerfully. A look, a half-smile, and the gentle squeeze of my hand said far more than any words could. I knew what he meant, and I felt his love and reassurance in that simple moment.
This same lesson is clear in my everyday work with children. Many of the children we see at Small Talk don’t use “mouth words” much—or at all—but that doesn’t mean they aren’t communicating. Quite the opposite!
One young man I work with doesn’t use speech, but he plays song clips to show people what he wants and how he is feeling. A burst of a favourite tune is his way of saying, *“That’s me. That’s how I feel right now.”* Other children use their eyes, their faces, their hands, their movements, or their laughter to make themselves understood.
Parents often tell me their biggest wish is to hear their child *say* words, and I completely understand that. Spoken language is valuable, and we will always support children to develop it if it’s possible for them. But it’s also important to notice and celebrate all the other ways they are already communicating.
Research shows that most of what we understand in communication comes from non-verbal signals—things like facial expressions, gestures, body language, tone, and eye contact. Words are just one part of the picture.
So, the next time your child looks at you with a twinkle in their eye, hands you a toy, shares a sound clip, or pulls you towards what they want—see that for what it is: real, powerful communication. Responding to these signals not only strengthens your connection with your child, it also lays the foundation for any spoken language that may develop later.
Sometimes the deepest messages are spoken without words at all.
Tuesday, 8 July 2025
Why do some children lie?
Ive just had a very familiar conversation with a parent about their potentially autistic child. He lies about small things like what he has at home but also big things such as his father hitting him. Safe-guarding concerns are always flagged. But why does this happen?
Understanding the Behaviour
Autistic children can display complex stress responses when overwhelmed, distressed, confused, or when communication breaks down. These responses can include:
1. Fight
• May appear argumentative, accusatory, or defensive
• Can present as firm insistence on a version of events to regain control
2. Flight
• Avoidance of questioning or shifting into an alternate “reality” to escape distress
• Storytelling can act as emotional escape when real-life stressors feel intolerable
3. Freeze
• Shutdown, flat affect, or lack of reaction when asked about the allegation
• May appear "unbothered" or robotic – often a dissociative response, not deception
4. Fawn
• Saying what they think adults want to hear
• Highly compliant with leading or suggestive questioning, even if inaccurate
5. Fibster Response (Confabulation as Coping)
• Narrative may be inconsistent or fictional, yet genuinely believed by the child
• Can arise from communication impairments, poor episodic memory, or unmet emotional needs
6. Funster Response (Fantasy as Self-Protection)
• Uses humour or storytelling to deflect distress
• Allegations may symbolise emotional hurt or relational fear, not literal events
Why This Happens: A Neurodevelopmental & Trauma-Informed Lens
• Language and communication difficulties (e.g. delayed echolalia, literal thinking)
• Poor memory coherence (autistic children may struggle to sequence or recall personal events reliably)
• Alexithymia (difficulty identifying or explaining internal emotional states)
• High anxiety and prior invalidation (can fuel internal distress that is externalised as a fixed story)
• Co-occurring demand avoidance or trauma (some stories may be an expression of fear, loss of control, or relational rupture)
This does not mean the child is “lying” in the deliberate sense. It reflects a protective, stress-related survival response.
Safeguarding Considerations
1. Take all allegations seriously.
Even when stories appear implausible, always begin with appropriate safeguarding procedures.
2. Ensure the child is safe and regulated.
Avoid confrontation. Use calm, validating language:
“Thank you for telling us. You were right to speak up. We’re going to help you feel safe.”
3. Do not lead or overload the child with questions.
Use trauma-informed communication. Where needed, seek support from a speech and language therapist (SLT) or clinical psychologist trained in autism.
4. Document factually.
Record the child’s words verbatim, without interpretation or assumption. Note context, emotional state, and any communication differences.
5. Consider the child’s neurodevelopmental profile.
Assess with input from autism and communication specialists before making judgements on credibility.
6. Use reflective supervision.
For staff involved, explore emotional responses and unconscious bias to ensure safeguarding responses remain child-centred and non-punitive.
Recommended Actions
• Ensure the child is given a safe adult relationship where their voice is heard without pressure.
• Involve SLT and/or clinical psychology to support narrative formation, memory reliability, and emotional literacy.
• Review previous safeguarding records for patterns of distress, exclusion, or misinterpretation.
• Plan ongoing support, particularly around emotional regulation, communication, and safe expression of concerns.
Reference Framework
• Department for Education (2023). Working Together to Safeguard Children
• NICE Guidelines NG93 (2018). Autism spectrum disorder in under 19s: Support and management
• Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation
• Bruce, S., & Thorne, K. (2021). Trauma-informed Practice for Children and Young People with DLD
We talk talk about this enough!
Friday, 12 March 2021
‘A PDAer will not accept anything on face value, not even themself.’
Guest blog post
Listening to Harry Thompson on his Facebook live today asking for contributions to the essence of PDA has inspired me to offer my personal musings on what PDA is.
It’s definitely not pathological demand avoidance. No demands are avoided when the world is on its axis but the problem is that the world has a tendency to keep tipping off! If anything, PDA would be better explained as an extreme intolerance of uncertainty.
The only way for a PDAer to survive is in a state of complete freedom and autonomy. Every other state detracts from the PDAers life force, to varying degrees. The external world can feel like a prison with torture chambers. The internal standards can also demand ‘correctness’ or suffering if correctness is not achieved.
Life is lived as a participant observer because the evidence about how to be human comes from living life first hand. This can lead to ending up in situations where the ‘participant’ part of the experiment can lead to precarious and even life threatening situations. The boundary for what is good, true, safe, healthy, wise, educational, fulfilling, interesting, useful and all of the opposites can only be identified by stepping up close to or across the boundary. Other people’s views can be trusted and used as a guide, but the PDAer has to have evaluated that persons credibility first and agreed that they are someone who can be trusted and respected, they do this not by judging a persons acts or words, necessarily, but by knowing their heart. This process can be instinctive and immediate or can require evidence and develop over time. Sometimes the PDAer, especially during the most treacherous of developmental periods in the lives of many: childhood and adolescence, can give the impression to parents, teachers and professionals that they ‘just don’t care,’ or ‘make bad choices and cannot be trusted.’ Their need for experimentation can frighten those that don’t understand that the PDAer wants to survive, and this is their way of going about it. What actually threatens the PDAers life is attempts by people to limit their freedom to explore the world and find their own answers, which can, ironically lead to the PDAer contemplating suicide or setting themselves on a steady course of annihilation. That is not to say that the existential angst experienced by the PDAer in their search for truth and meaning doesn’t also threaten their life but aiming to catch the PDAer and trap them within a set of rules imposed by people who the PDAer sees as unqualified to lead will promote utter devastation, often expressed using the 5fs. There will be no lengths that the PDAer will not go to, to ensure their freedom. Don’t push the PDAer, support them in their journey and you will see that they love life. Listen to what they tell you. If they tell you that they want to do X or Y, then allow them to do it, if you can, because they will know best what is right for them and will cease to engage in the activity if they find that it wasn’t right for them after all, or that it isn’t right for them at the moment, for any number of reasons, even if they desperately want to do whatever it is.
In one respect it’s the extreme need for absolute rectitude and justice. Things need to be just, correct, evidence based and open to constant evaluation and revision to ensure that these standards are upheld. No-one has any more authority to deicide what is true and real than any other. That is not to say that there are no people who have, indeed, contributed a great deal to the exploration of human ‘being’ but there are an awful lot of people who merely reach a certain age or professional status and believe that they’ve therefore gained a superior insight into what it is to ‘be’ and how life should be lived. This can include teachers, parents and people within various professions and institutions. The PDAer cannot accept this fundamental injustice and will do everything to escape from the snare of liars and cheats. If you can tell the PDAer why they should be doing, thinking, saying something and they are in agreement with it, then you will not see any objection. However, if you explain why and they do not agree with you but you then aim to force them to follow your rules, ideas, plans etc… then you will see them react in any number of ways to protect their freedom. If there is too much injustice in a given situation then this can lead to non-verbal communication in the form of explosive and / or destructive meltdown. However, essentially, the PDAer is one of the most reasonable people you will ever meet if they are in their optimum state, because for them it’s all about reason and logic.
Also on the matter of things being correct, the PDAer and autistic, will not accept mistakes or misrepresentation. That is not to say that they don’t tolerate or expect anyone, including themselves, to make any mistakes, it’s more that the mistakes, once identified need to be corrected. For example, if the PDAer is described by someone in a way that definitely does not represent the what they believe or intend to say then this can cause the PDAer to seek to correct that person. Stereotyping, pidgeon-holing, assumptions based on race, age, gender, accent or whatever are something that the PDAer rejects. Generalisations and not welcome unless there is enough evidence to make a generalisation. Ideas need to be specific and precise and you will find the PDAer and autistic spending time seeking clarity on matters small and large, which can come across as pedantic or overly critical to those who do not understand the reasons behind the outward expression. They tolerate mistakes in themselves even less well. Lots has been written on this under the banner of ‘perfectionism’ and ‘rejection sensitive dysphoria’ (which, are two of the areas where ADHD and PDA overlap, in my opinion). The most extreme way of managing this can be excessive people pleasing or not taking any kind of risk, whatsoever, and living a very restricted life.
The PDAer may seem harsh or caustic at times but in reality they suffer deeply at the idea of the suffering of others, man or beast. They are essentially humanitarian, which is why hierarchy is abhorrent to them as it requires the subordination of one being to another, and that is a kind of enslavement. However, you will often find the PDAer at the service of others, often those who are in vulnerable positions, in order to protect and ensure their humanity.
The self. It is difficult for the PDAer to develop a sense of self. This is not to be confused with a sense of justice. While the PDAer can have a strong affinity with certain causes, which may appear to be ‘who they are,’ they often have an elusive sense of self. They self is part of the PDAers exploration. They will often not commit to a given identity because they are not sure yet, without having all the evidence, which their true self is. How can they decide and commit to who they are without having explored all that there is to explore about human existence, and that takes a lifetime, doesn’t it? So the self can feel elusive to the PDAer who will try out different selves at different times and will wear different masks when interacting with others, until they have a better idea of who they are and whether they are prepared to share that intimate and private journey with anyone else. This will often lead people to see the PDAer as a ‘social chameleon,’ or ‘not sure of themselves.’ For the PDAer this can cause them to feel uncomfortable with uniting the different ‘selves’ or ‘characters’ that they play out in public, so mixing different groups of friends is often an excruciating and nerve wracking prospect. As they develop the PDAer can learn to become more ‘authentic’ but this process can take some time and is unlikely to be wholly complete while there is still more to learn, which, for the PDAer will be when they take their last breath. Despite this often tentative grasp on self-identity the PDAer will not accept outsiders defining who they are based on preconceived ideas, such as diagnostic criteria, race, gender, class, age etc… as mentioned before. Worthy of note, and ironically, there is the potential for the PDAer to dissociate and be open to influence and drawn into situations in search of this development of the self. This area of exploration for the PDAer can be the most profound and the most dangerous, but once they have enough experience to have a firmer grasp on the ‘self’ they can be a great source of knowledge and wisdom, mainly because their (re)search will have been so thorough. It will have combined lived experience, book and multi-media learning and will generally not venture into areas where they are unable to have lived the experience. That is not to say that they do not have an opinion on almost everything, they often do, as they are typically very contemplative individuals, but they will usually not claim to be a commentator, nevermind an authority, on that which they do not have first hand experience.
Expectation and praise. This is so complex in the PDAer. It is rooted in perfectionism and RSD, on which there is lots written. The PDAer sees the need to meet the expectations of others and a direct threat to their freedom. They don’t want to commit to being the same way all the time or feeling s certain way in advance. If you say to the PDAer, ‘you are such an amazing friend,’ they will feel suffocated by the need to maintain that standard of behaviour. The question in the PDAers mind will be ‘so if I behave in a way that is crap and let you down, will I disappoint you and will you reject me?’ Sometimes it’s easier for the PDAer to keep people at a distance in order to manage the onslaught of demands to act a certain way or maintain friendship exchanges, even when they don’t feel like it. Often people see this as not being a good friend, when for the PDAer things like frequency of contact have no bearing on how they feel about a person. Often the PDAer will end up with very few people who are able to understand this about them, i.e. people who know their heart. This processing of expectation and praise can be applied to any relationship or setting and can be crippling to the PDAer.
The need for structure and routine but defiance of the very notion. Because the PDAer often has an elusive or changeable sense of self or direction, in their life search and journey, structure and routine can help them to feel grounded. Ironically though, they abhor boring, stuffy, conventional, ways of being because they offer very little in the way of personal growth. Not only that the PDAer is quirky and queer by nature. However, there is often a misconception about being quirky or queer. Often ‘followers’ are found wearing outrageous clothing or belonging to alternative groups. You may find the PDAer lurking among them but you may also find the PDAer in very mainstream settings or with no outward expression of their quirks, such as piercings or tattoos. The quirky and queerness is more of a proclivity or propensity. They need to fulfil the need to laugh and get excited, and this will almost certainly be expressed through something extreme or outrageous. They have an innate understanding (or at least a very early understanding) that nobody knows why we are here. The enormity of the universe and existence makes for an overwhelming desire to just ‘go crazy,’ lighten things up and have a laugh to get through it all.
Things which the PDAer will undoubtedly struggle with are romantic relationships, conventional employment, friendships, familial relationships, nonsensical and illogical rules or laws, sensory overload (as they are hyper-sensitive) and self (loving/loathing).
That’s all for now and that’s my personal view informed by lived experience. There’s so much more to say on independence, control, need for certainty, shame, drive, ambition, creativity, performance, attention and much, much more. I don’t even know if it has anything to do with PDA but I seem to be nodding my head a lot when other people who call themselves PDA are talking their truth. Many of these ideas and observations have been made by me for many years now, certainly long before I ever heard of PDA, others much more recently and have been influenced by the literature and discourse on PDA, ADHD and autism, but only in as much as it relates to what I have lived.
I realised I was ‘Aspergers’ in the 90s, but only because that was the closest definition of what I was (what was wrong with me, in the view of me and many others at the time) that was available. I have a diagnosis of ADHD and a diagnostic opinion of autism (basically, the DISCO without informant reports), which mentions PDA in the report, so I have decided to share my views on this basis alone. Also because my son is his own brand of neurodivergent too, but probably not essentially PDA
Nikola Duncan.
Friday, 27 November 2020
Is Charlie racist and rude? Does he need excluding for his behaviour? Or is Charlie struggling in a neurotypical world where he is mis-understood?
I wrote this blog a couple of years ago https://www.smarttalkersblog.com/2019/02/doesnt-listen-is-rude-homophobic-racist.html
In many ways this could be Charlie about whom I’m talking. It wasn’t, I hadn’t met him, but I meet hundreds of Charlies a year, and I have done since 1986.
Charlie is autistic and a part of him being autistic is that our neurotypical world does not suit him. He appears just like his peers: bright, chatty and able but Charlie is actually from a different culture. In the autistic world, the typical rules of politeness or saying ‘how it is’ do not apply. As part of being a neurotypical adult working with autistic teenagers it is our duty to understand this and to deal with it.
1. Say it as it is: the bluntness of autism
If a 14-year-old teenage boy told me I was fat and ugly I might be offended if he was neur0- typical. If he was autistic, I would thank him for pointing it out and realise that he was just telling me the truth. This descriptive bluntness may also apply to people’s obvious ethnic backgrounds or other neurotypical ‘sensitive’ topics. But that's what it is; it's a description, it is not an insult. So, if an autistic teenager calls you a ‘black idiot’ then you could be offended perhaps by the ‘idiot’ but not by the black descriptor, if you are of Afro-Caribbean origin. He doesn’t mean anything derogatory.
2. The wanting to fit in
Other autistic teenagers will want to be seen to fit in so may use phrases or sayings that they have heard of the children use. These may be ‘cool’ children, who autistic teenagers would like to emulate . They may want to impress these cool children or indeed other children . However, it does mean they will be using phrases or words they don't necessarily understand and certainly don't understand the full implication of using. Therefore, the consequences of this sort of language used in school should not be the same as for neurotypical children, it is part of reasonable adjustment. A child like Charlie responds well to discussion about such issues . He does not want to offend or to be rude. He does want to fit in.
3. Neural response
By the time a neurotypical child is a teenager, we expect them to have control over their emotions and their emotional outbursts in school. However, non neurotypical children cannot be expected to have this same control. It is unrealistic. Professionals must understand the difference between cognitive control and neural response. Neural response is automatic, so children and young people are likely to do things in the heat of the moment without actually being in control of what they do. It’s a typical stress response e.g. the fight as part of fight, flight or freeze. Trauma informed schools are extremely good at understanding the neural response of an autistic child which may lead to seemingly undesirable behaviour.
A neural response is the key difficulty of a child with demand avoidance and MUST be seen as an anxiety or panic attack. As with anxiety or panic attacks, the child needs supporting not punishing.
4. Executive function
We must know more about executive function as professionals working with ND children and teenagers . When we do, we realise that they may have no filter, so this will be another reason to ‘say what you see’ without the typical ability to think twice before you say anything. This is an issue with the prefrontal cortex so shouldn't be punishable but can be guided when there is a rapport and trust between professional and child.
I could go on but I'm short of time this morning however it is imperative that Charlie’s behaviour is understood. His behaviour is communication; he's communicating to us that he's having a hard time. Professionals must, as part of reasonable adjustment find a way of dealing with this and not seeing his responses as illegal, unlawful or punishable.
I actually find Charlie to be a completely delightful young man!
Friday, 24 July 2020
The Wrong Environment For A Child Hold on to your seats…. This may get a bit ranty!!!
I absolutely love my job, the autistic children I get the privilege
to meet and get to know are incredible. I’ve said it before but it needs saying
regularly; they are brave, resilient, and beautifully natured. This makes it
all the more frustrating, overwhelming and upsetting when it comes to doing the
hardest part of my job….. Fighting for their rights, fighting for what they
need and more importantly fighting for what they deserve. This part of my job
leaves me with days of anxiety and overwhelm.
What needs to be made clear is that autistic people aren’t going
anywhere, in fact quite the opposite, autistic people grow up to have autistic
children……. Yes we literally are increasing in number…. Some refer to this as an
autism epidemic!!! Well that’s bloody charming isn’t it! In fact it’s disgustingly
insulting. What are we some form of disease that is a threat to human kind? NO,
we are a community of good, strong hearted people, people who drive change,
people who invent and create amazing things. We are the best Drs, nurses,
scientists, teachers, animal conservationists, eco warriors, parents, advocates
…. The list is endless.
So prevalence is increasing, I already see at least two
autistic children in each class of 30…..a much higher number than recorded. So
why, oh why, can’t we change the school environment to meet need?
What ‘the powers that be’ need to know is that autistic
children are the (to quote Jo Billington) ‘canaries in the mine’. They are the
sensitive ones that are feeling the pressure of mainstream class sizes,
increased educational expectations, behaviour policies, over stimulation, school uniform policies……….but actually aren’t
ALL children starting to show signs of this?
YES! Mental health problems
in children are on the rise! Making a school ‘autism friendly’ isn’t making a
school ‘neurotypical child un-friendly’ in fact quit the opposite…. It’s making
a school child friendly. Autism friendly strategies are actually all gold
standard best practise for all children! What child wouldn’t benefit from
smaller classes, more outside learning, more experiential learning, more moving
while learning, more emphasis on emotional literacy and self-care?
School life does not
reflect adult life!
A common argument I hear against reasonable adjustments is
‘they have to get used to it’, ‘we have to prepare him for the real world/adult
life’.
Well that’s a crock of rubbish!! In what job would you be
told you can’t use the loo except during designated breaks! In what job would
you be made to sit on a hard floor squished up next to a colleague and sing
songs? Why would a person who works best with their hands and while moving opt
for a job sat still and quiet? The adult world is a much better place for
autistic people. In fact mainly due to autistic people….. We can now order food
online and avoid supermarkets altogether, we can work from home, we can take
breaks when we need them, we can socialise with people when and how we chose
to! Sometimes not face to face, sometimes not with those our own age.
What are the repercussions?
Well if you are a parent of a child who’s needs are unmet
you will know all too well the impact L
however if you don’t then you should.
I’m going to outline this simply and bluntly; the children I
work with who haven’t had needs met in education and/or been subjected to an
environment that is inappropriate suffer the following;
Self-harm
Trauma
Low self esteem
Feelings of failure
Depression
Anxiety disorders
Suicidal ideation
Suicide attempts
Agoraphobia
Mis-trust of any adult outside of the home
Separation anxiety
Environmental mutism
Tics
Many children are unable to return to school. Even the
mention of school can produce a trauma response (fight/flight). A child becomes
a ‘school refuser’ which in itself it’s damaging and incorrect, as the child is
simply in self-preservation/survival mode at this stage and so are UNABLE to
attend not refusing. It can be likened to a child ‘refusing’ to jump into shark
infested waters! Or the term I often use from a parents perspective ‘it feels
like you are sending the lamb to slaughter’ (I’m not great with subtle words!) My
experience of this comes from children of all ages, already showing these
symptoms from as young as 4years old.
What needs to change?
Surprise surprise I have a few ideas about this!!! I will
simply list them!
More funding to provide;
ALL school staff training in autism, PACE & trauma. Up
to date progressive thinking Dr Luke Beardon style training! Including MDSA’s.
Smaller numbers of students per class
More staff who have been invested in through training and
care.
More pastoral support
More SENCo time
More specialist input, such as educational psychologist,
occupational therapist and speech and language support in mainstream schools. A
holistic approach.
Environmental changes;
Less ‘overstimulating’ classroom settings and layouts
Moving while learning
Flexible/positive behaviour policies (or just scrap them!)
Flexible approaches to uniform
Flexible approaches to teaching
More animals, nature and outside!
Curriculum changes;
Experiential learning
Functional learning
Child lead learning
Emotional/mental health/self-care education
Less attainment/progress pressure (for teachers and
students)
The list could go on. I truly believe that if this was how
mainstream education looked, we would be seeing less children needing EHCP’s,
less children needing specialist placements and less children needing to access
mental health services. And most importantly; less children suffering,
I know this is possible, I work with and know there are some
amazing schools, SENCo’s and teachers that make this happen or try to make this
happen for their students. I know many amazing people’s hands are tied by
funding restraints, policies and ‘the powers that be’. The rigidity and
inflexibility is damaging.
I don’t know!!! I am not great at big battles and making big
change! I make small changes for small people! Well I would like to think
sometimes bigger changes for children and their families. But this is BIG. I
talk with many about opening a school like this, I already have a team of staff
who want to work in a school like this!
I wish I had as many viable solutions as I do issues with
the system.
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