Book review: The shyness & social anxiety workbook for teens by Jennifer Shannon

Guest Book review by Natasha Dale

 There are many different books for sale, as well as online resources, that have the purpose of helping those with social anxiety and/ or shyness, but some are better than others. After reading “The shyness & social anxiety workbook for teens” I felt quite refreshed as this book isn’t worded to over complicate anything. I think the best way to explain and describe this book is: teenage friendly. It doesn’t need to be read all at once nor does it have to be read it in order. It’s written in a very flexible way; you have the option to pick and choose which topics you read about and when. I feel this workbook has a pleasing balance of being both engaging and informative. One of the most useful and important focuses in this workbook, in my opinion, is how it takes common thoughts that have been affected by anxiety and helps you to rationalise them.

 Over all I generally think this book is great for teenagers who are letting their shyness or anxiety make decisions that they themselves wouldn’t necessarily make, such as avoiding people they want to talk to.  I enjoyed reading this book and felt it didn’t take much reading into for me to grasp the understanding that nobody is alone with struggling with social anxiety. Anxiety is common, but it can affect us all in different but similar ways. I was really pleased to see how much this workbook focuses on the reader and gives them the opportunity to engage by placing themselves, or their mind, in the different anxiety provoking situations mentioned. I think it’s a huge advantage to read though this workbook; I like how it encourages the reader to think about ways to overcome their barriers. I think this workbook gives you plenty of opportunity to involve personal situations, but on the other hand it isn’t compulsory nor does it come across too forceful. I really like how it gives you various examples of common problems associated with struggling with shyness and social anxiety, which indirectly allows you to place your own situation into the matter. I was also happy to read examples of both males and females struggling with different common anxious situations, from toilet anxiety to anxiety around speaking. There is a positive focus on the difference in how we as unique individuals react, behave and think slightly differently to one another due to our personalities and values. It’s reassuring to read this workbook and see that the aim is not to change who you are, but to change how you deal with your anxiety. In my own opinion, I think this book is definitely worth your time and effort.

Selective mutism: another success story

Ralph, the speech therapy dog

Lucy (not her real name) aged 17 years had suffered with Selective Mutism all her life. It had blighted her school days and she was longing to leave school and escape her 'dreadful life'. She had been dreaming of the days she could finally do this, for years. Then over the summer, she thought about it and the reality hit her hard: nothing was really going to change unless she got some help to change herself.

Lucy's mother contacted Small Talk in August 2015 to see what we could offer. We discussed that we have done Maggie Johnsons's extension level SM training, animal assisted therapy, so we can use our team member Ralph the labrador, and CBT which is really useful for teenagers or older clients. A meeting was arranged at our clinic for the following week.

It's accepted that having  communication difficulty must get in the way somewhat but almost all the aspirations of a teenager such as getting a job, applying for college, passing your driving test, getting  a boyfriend/girlfriend etc all require confident communication. To be petrified of talking makes these things appear unattainable.

Lucy decided she wanted Ralph and her mother in on the first session and very bravely talked about her difficulties. Her mother added  detail so I was able to diagnose the SM which hadn't been done previously. Lucy cried into Ralph's neck and got lots of encouraging licks!

Lucy's story was one with which I am all too familiar and which makes me sad and angry in pretty equal measures. There had been a huge pattern of ignorance since she had started nursery aged 3. She'd had a variety of staff who had either ignored her SM or tried to force her to speak. At age 7 she'd seen a psychologist who had questioned her home life and accused her mother of 'some sort of abuse which would account for the mutism'. Bloody Hell!! Excuse my language! Her peers, apart from a  few, had called her names, ignored her or talked about her as if she wasn't there e.g. 'don't talk to her she doesn't speak'.

I explained that my role is to educate others, facilitate, encourage and support. We made a plan and I showed her how to set small steps to what she wanted. We started with applying for a Saturday job (part of the bigger goal of affording driving lessons). We looked all the aspects such as sending the application, thinking about the interview, imagining all scenarios, what questions etc. We broke it down into really small, achievable goals. She worked through these at a rapid pace.

In December, she got a part-time job at a well known supermarket. They were great and very keen not to discriminate against her because of her SM. They chose a role away from the public to begin with and would then be happy for Lucy to have a 'get out of jail free card' as she called it, which read, 'I'm sorry, I have a communication difficulty but I can take  you where you want to go'. She practised smiling while showing the card.

Lucy was surprised how easy the process was with someone to show her how to make it all seem more manageable. She decided she would do her own small steps to asking a special boy out!

Lucy now has a part-time job and a boyfriend but more importantly she knows how to achieve what she needs. On Friday, we discussed the driving lessons as the next target but she is confident she will only need me if she can't do it herself. Perfect! The positive Lucy who walked into my clinic last week is far removed from despondent one whom I met just a few months ago. She will encounter set-backs I'm sure but she told me that, 'It's easier not to try but if you don't try  you don't get anywhere either'.

I love my job!!

www.private-speech-therapy.co.uk