How do you cope with the terrible twos?

Tell me what you think of this video from 5min Parenting?

Autistic? They're all like rainman aren't they?

'People ask if my son is like rain man, or claim  that as they met one other autistic person who happened to like them they suddenly have a good way with all of them, its like saying " Oh one of my friends is chinese/white/black therefore all people of that race like me" 


I read the above with horror recently on 'A problem shared is a problem solved' Face book page where parents can share their own tales of ignorance and  stupidity or seek another parent's perspective https://www.facebook.com/groups/169134469812447/ my comment in response was my favourite saying, 'When you've met one person with ASD.... you have met one person withASD'.  


The Give Austism a chance campaign will hopefully spread the word to help educate the general public, have a look at their video:








The message is plain and simple..... just because someone has ASD does not mean they conform to a stereotype any more than all Englishman are the same or all women are the same!


We are quite unique at Small Talk due to our experience of working with children with ASD, we have one highly specialist SLT and two specialist SLTs.  www.private-speech-therapy.co.uk

10 Ways to teach your child to argue logically

by Maureen Denard

Developmentally children of a younger age will never be able to argue logically.  However, kids will learn what works and what doesn’t.  Trying to teach them how to argue logically will help them in school debate as well as every other public office where they might have to argue their point.  It will probably even save you a few gray hairs in the process.  Check out 10 ways to teach your child to argue logically.

1. Explain what logic means: Start out by explaining what it means to be logical.  Give examples where you say, “I want chocolate cake for breakfast because it looks good”.  Or a more logical argument would be to say, “Chocolate cake is a great breakfast food item because it contains eggs that are protein and milk that’s dairy.” 
2. Catch them being illogical: The kids are fighting in the backseat of the car because your youngest son thinks his older brother is hogging the backseat.  You ask your younger son to try to persuade his brother to move over.  He says, “I can’t he’s just a hog”.  So you then say, “So your argument is that you deserve more space in the backseat because your brother is a hog?”  Once you show them what they are saying they will start to see how they aren’t being logical.
3. Teach by showing: During an argument listen to what they are saying and then ask them to make their case.  Repeat what they are saying and point out the holes in their logic.  Then show them how they could make a stronger argument.
4. Define the difference between fighting and arguing: When you ‘fight’ you make contact with the other person be it with your body or with some sort of weapon.  Tell them you will not tolerate fighting, but arguing is okay.  If you argue you need to keep your voice down and make logical points as to why you are right and the other person is wrong.
5. Show them how persuasion plays a role: When arguing your point you need to be persuasive.  To be persuasive you have to be conscious of the person’s point of view and explain why you believe your way to be better while not insulting the other person’s view point.  Point out facts that will logically show your way is superior to their way.
6. Be sympathetic: Let your child know that sympathy is always a great tool to use in an argument.  Making statements like, “I understand you like to watch Sponge Bob and I enjoy him too, but the season finale of Witches of Waverly Place is on and it’s not a rerun.”  Using instances like this that they will understand will help to further their learning process.
7. Explain what it means to win an argument: Some children will just use force to get their way.  Tell your child that winning an argument means that they have successfully changed their opponent’s mind so that now they agree with them.  If they get their way by hitting their opponent ask them if they think they changed that person’s mind.  If the answer is no, then they didn’t win the argument.
8. Reward them when they are logical: Once your child learns how to argue logically you need to let them win on occasion.  If your child comes to you and explains that they would like to have a dog because owning a dog will teach them to be more responsible, give them exercise by walking the dog and will save you from having to entertain them because they will play with the dog, they have made a very good argument.  It’s persuasive, it’s logical, and it shows sympathy for your time spent entertaining them.  If you can’t do a dog try to let them have another pet that will achieve the same results.
9. Dock them when they aren’t logical: There will still be times when they come crying to you or they start yelling at their sibling.  When you need to play referee you need to side with the child that isn’t breaking the rules of good arguing.  Make sure you let them know that they didn’t get to have their way because they yelled, hit, or drug up some nasty drama from the past.  You can call it ‘hitting below the belt’ or ‘strikes’ or ‘fouls’.  Whatever you decide to use will be fine.
10. Help them see the big picture: If you are watching something on TV you can ask the kids to point out whether that argument is persuasive or not.  Did that commercial convince you that you need to buy that toy? 

You’ll be surprised how good your kids get at being persuasive and arguing logically.  While it will help them throughout their lives keep in mind that it will also mean that you will probably lose more arguments than you win.  And that’s okay.

www.findananny.net

Have you heard of The Early Language Development Programme (ELDP)?

The Department for Education has identified language development as a priority and as such has invested in the Early Language Development Programme (ELDP) ensuring that there is central support for training in this key area. The programme is running from February 2012 until April 2014.

The key objective for the Early Language Development Programme over the next three years is to work with Children’s Centres to provide support to embed early language development practices, and to establish them as local leaders. The programme is focusing on strategies to improve practitioners’ learning and skills in early identification and intervention and encourage partnership working with other early years settings, speech and language therapists and health visitors.

The programme is focusing on all children especially targeting work with 0-2 year olds, their families and those living in the most disadvantaged areas.

As a result of engagement in the programme, practitioners will be equipped to provide an accurate early years summary of a child’s development between the ages of 24-36 months to parents (i.e. they will have sufficient knowledge and skills around the importance of language development and be able to identify language delay at its earliest point in a child), as well as the skills to support language development at this early stage.

Deborah Fielden and I are the leads for our areas Children’s Centres for the Early Language Development Programme, which means we have an exciting opportunity to impact on early language development in our local community whilst also building their capacity to meet government targets and outcomes in relation to language development and school readiness.

The Early Language Development Programme will provide us with a training package which we will cascade  to a local network of other local children’s centres, health visitors and local speech and language therapists who ultimately cascade to the parents, families and children who use the children’s centre and other local services.


We are also happy to talk to private providers about training for their settings or courses which supplement the ELDP.

www.private-speech-therapy.co.uk

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Follow on from the year of communication......

Following on from the National Year of Communication, 2012 proves to be just as exciting with new events and new information guides for parents. Afasic England, in association The Communication Trust, is running three free events, bringing together parents, professionals and children with speech, language and communication needs. These will include seminars, workshops, exhibitions and fun activities for pupils with SLCN. Many of the workshops are being run by members of the Trust's Communication Consortium. With over thirty workshops per event to choose from, including one-to-one advice sessions available throughout the day, these events will provide information as well as a chance to talk to local providers, professionals and other parents. The events will take place in... The Rose Bowl, Southampton on Thursday 8th March 2012 Leicester University on Thursday 15th March 2012 Durham University at Stockton-on-Tees on 22nd March 2012 For further details and to book please click here.

'Books are old-fashioned, out-dated and a waste of time and space

...... and they just gather dust!' So said my ex-mother-in-law one day when I was reading to my first baby aged 12 months. It was Twinkle, twinkle by Nick Sharratt. I remember he was transfixed by the shimmering star on the front and touched each page with it's different texture. He joined in at the end of each sentence with the well rehearsed rhythmic phrases. He delighted in turning the pages while sitting on my knee, showing me each wonder with a special backwards glance and a smile. 

As I said to her at the time in the politest tone I could muster, 'Actually, books are fantastic!'
i summarised why last year but as it's National Book Day on thursday, I make no apology for re-iterating what I said.

Introduction:

There have been many, many research studies on the influence reading to children has on their educational growth, and in almost all of the studies done, reading to children as early as six months of age has been ‘proven not only as a good parent-child bonding, but as giving the child a good educational start in life’ (Maria-Helen Goyetche, owner of Early Childhood Education, 2009). The following is a summary of the available research & results of interviews with several early years’ practitioners:

General points:
1. Babies: There’s no such thing as too early. It’s good to start showing babies pictures and talking about them as soon as they focus her eyes on the pattern on a jumper or the change-mat. It’s part of parent –child interaction. Sue Gerhardt, discusses the major adverse implications on the developing brain if not there is not this type of quality interaction, (‘Why love matters’, 2004) *

2. Toddlers: discovering new words, learning to "read" pictures to find the meanings of words or the answers to questions hiding behind those thrilling pull-tabs: where's the kitten gone?

3. Pre-schoolers: a realisation that pictures on the page are the introduction to print; being read to helps the child toward written language at this age just as it helps towards spoken language two years previously.

4. School-Aged: Once children are used to being read to, they will never be bored if somebody will read, and since there are bound to be times when nobody will read and they are bored, they'll have the best possible reason to learn to read themselves.

All the research agrees that reading to themselves isn't a signal to stop reading to them though, even when the child starts to read stories to himself for pleasure. 

Specific
1. Bonding
Maybe the most important benefit a parent and child have from reading together is a bond which naturally develops as they spend time together. They are connecting with the baby while the baby is doing the things she likes best; being with you and hearing your voice speaking to her. ‘The book isn’t as important as the moment and........ it could even be a comic,’ Lesley Smith, Early Years Practitioner.

2. Attention/listening:
Attention skills are extremely important and need to be learnt to be successful in school. Attention and listening are the main skills in decline in the 21st century. A recent survey of 100 primary schools hi-lighted this (Libby Hill, 2010). By sharing a story book early on, it is helping to develop both attention span and listening.

3. Social interaction
Perhaps the most important benefit is the time the adult spends reading with the child. ‘The book is the vehicle for the interaction, which is the most important thing,’ Deborah Falshaw, Teacher & Early Years Practitioner.

4. Communication
Many of the components of communication are developed whilst sharing a book: turn-taking, listening, shared attention and speaker/listener roles are identified

5. Language
Hearing the adult use different intonation patterns and the full range of phonology of the language they’re speaking helps develop the child’s own speech and language.

a) Vocabulary: linking the names of words to the pictures helps vocabulary development. It’s often easier to find pictures than real objects to show the child. In any event, the pictures supplement the child’s semantic links to aid the acquisition of new vocabulary.

b) Reasoning: Following a character's actions in a story helps develop problem solving skills. Children are just learning about the world they live in. They are beginning to learn that their actions have consequences. Story book characters can help test these sometimes confusing issues without the pain of going through it themselves. The next time a child is confronted by a situation he has encountered in a story that has been read to him, he will know he has options.


6. Intelligence/Imagination
Getting children absorbed in books helps stimulate imagination which has been proved to advance their thinking power. They learn to pretend and put themselves in the story which often promotes a higher level of thinking. Children who are read to at an early age find it easier to express themselves and their feelings, making them more confident as they grow up (Professor James Law, City University, own conference notes 2009).

7. Emotional development
Children’s emotions can be validated through story reading. Sharing stories about characters who have the same emotions, especially negative ones, lets the child know that the feelings are normal. Children can learn from the reactions of the characters in the story (Susan Anderson, ‘The invaluable importance of reading to your child’).

8. Good habits
Children will pass on the love of reading to their children if they have been read to. Children live what they learn. They will be more likely to share reading with their own children.

9. Introducing difficult topics


10. Helping to handle stress
Life can be tough for a child in the 21st century. Books provide escapism as well as a source of comfort.

Conclusion:

Maryann Wolf Director/professor of the Centre for Reading and Language Research at Tufts University, USA "Children who begin kindergarten having heard and used thousands of words, whose meanings are already understood, classified, and stored away in their young brains, have the advantage on the playing field of education. Children who never have a story read to them, who never hear words that rhyme, who never imagine fighting with dragons or marrying a prince, have the odds overwhelmingly against them."

Penelope Leach, child development guru: ‘When parents read aloud to their children, everyone wins. It's fun for the adult and great for the kids. Easy for you and good for them. You don't even have to ration it because, unlike TV or ice cream, there's no such thing as too much’.

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What do I do if I am worried about my child's talking?

Sometimes you just know that your little one isn't developing their spoken language as they should. Other times you compare them to their little friends and see a difference. Sometimes it's a grandparent or friend who mentions something.  However  you come to the tentative or definite conclusion, you need to know what to do about it.


If your child is pre-school, then the health visitor is a good source of information and she can refer to the NHS speech therapy department for you with your permission. In some areas (it used to be all ) you can make a call to the department yourself. If your child is at school, talk to the classteacher about referring your child to speech therapy.


If you want to make  referral to a private therapist, you can contact them yourself. The Royal College of Speech and Language Therapists recommend a website called www.helpwithtalking.com. On this you can put in your postcode and the age of your child and it will come up with a list of therapists in your local area. These are all members of the Association speech and language therapists in independent practice (ASLTIP). You can be sure that they are fully qualified and experienced, members of the Health professionals Council and members of the Royal College of Speech and language therapists. If you google private speech therapy, then make sure they are members of the HPC. Prices are usually pretty similiar from therapist to therapist. You can ring up and talk to the therapist before you make a decision as to who you choose.


You can have an NHS Speech and language therapist (SLT) as well as an NHS one. There is a protocol which they follow to work together.  


What happens then?
The therapist will need to see your child to assess the level he is at and what he needs to achieve more. This is usually in a clinic but independent ones will more than likely do a home visit. We prefer to do a home visit at Small Talk as they are more comfortable there and more likely to give a true representative of what they can do. In the sterile atmosphere of a health clinic, none of us is at out best! If not at home, we will visit nursery or playgroup.


What is the assessment?
This may be informal observation, play and by talking to you. They will ask about such things as pregnancy and birth and family background in order to complete a case history. Therapists use formal assessments too which will involve looking at pictures or books. It should be stress-free and fun for the child. The SLT will look for the child's level of attention, listening, play, understanding and how they express themselves. They will also listen to speech sounds but this might not be a priority.


The SLT might decide to review progress in a short while or offer therapy.


What is therapy?
A lot of the time we will be working through the parent or nursery staff as it is important for generalising skills. It is a bit like a music lesson, you wouldn't expect that the only time you do it to be the lesson. The lesson is to show you what to do and then you would need to practise all week before the next lesson. We try to make sure that any suggested 'work' fits into your daily routine wherever possible.



Questions?
1. Is my child too young for therapy?
No child is too young if you work with the parents. Parents are the most important part of the Speech therapy process. Small Talk are licensed Hanen practitioners and offer 'It takes two to talk' for parents.


2. How long will therapy take?
That is impossible to say but the SLT will set targets/aims and discuss these before they start. 


3. I am worried but nursery aren't, should I still see a SLT?
Yes because you can discuss your concerns. She will be able to allay your fears or suggest a course of action.  There might be problems at home that haven't shown themselves at nursery or vice versa.


4. I can't get time off to have therapy, what can I do?
Depending on the problem, many private SLTs offer saturday sessions or via skype.


Have a look at www.private-speech-therapy.co.uk for more information.  You can see stages and ages at http://smarttalkers.org.uk/stages_of_language_development.php

Don't worry in silence, get help!

Related articles

• Great sites for therapy ideas for kids with special needs (lovethatmax.com)
• Parents as Therapist! (downsyndromenwfl.wordpress.com)