When the Standard Route Doesn’t Fit: Advocating for Your Child’s Needs

Parents are often encouraged to “work with the school” or to “trust the process” when challenges arise in education. While collaboration is important, there are times when following the standard route does not meet a child’s individual needs. Professionals naturally rely on established pathways and familiar strategies. These approaches are designed to support the majority of children, and in many cases they are effective. However, children with additional needs do not always fit within those standard models. When a child’s presentation is complex, trying to apply generic solutions can inadvertently cause harm. A good friend of mine, Sylvia made a useful analogy, she said, imagine a child who requires a kidney operation being offered an alternative procedure simply because it is easier or more familiar for the hospital to provide. We would never agree to that, knowing it would not address the child’s medical needs and could cause harm. Similarly, placing a child in an educational environment that cannot meet their needs may compromise their mental health and wellbeing. The law is clear that every child is entitled to a suitable, full-time education that meets their individual needs. When this is not happening, it is reasonable and necessary for parents to question the system and advocate for alternative provision. This is not about resisting support or being “difficult”; it is about safeguarding the child’s right to an education that is both appropriate and sustainable. Parents are the experts in their own children. You hold unique knowledge of their strengths, challenges, and the impact that environments have on them. Professionals bring valuable skills and experience, but they may sometimes try to apply standard approaches that simply do not fit. In those moments, it is essential to remember: • It is not the child’s role to be reshaped to fit the system. • It is the system’s responsibility to adapt around the child. By keeping the child’s best interests at the centre, parents and professionals together can move away from “square peg in a round hole” solutions and towards tailored, lawful, and truly supportive education.