My friend Daniel doesn't talk: book review

My Friend Daniel Doesn’t Talk is a helpful children’s book about selective mutism, written by Sharon L. Longo and illustrated by Jane Bottomley. This book is very easy to read and understand and the illustrations add more of an insight in to what it is like to have SM. Although this book is very short and simple, it really focuses on the key points of stereotypical selective mutism. We’re first faced with a paragraph about some of the behavioural characteristics and signs of SM and anxiety, “He played with his shirt collar while his mother talked to our teacher, and his face was frozen”. Immediately we are let into the world of a child with selective mutism and are encouraged to almost feel the difficulty these children must experience. 

The main aim and purpose of this book is explained to be, to help others who don’t have SM, but know someone who does, understand the condition. 

Having had selective mutism myself, throughout childhood and adolescence, I felt this book was somewhat relateable and insightful. I particularly liked that it focused on Daniel himself, his behaviour, his anxiety and how others perceive him, as well as Daniel’s friend. I was really warmed by reading how SM can affect the other children in the class. I think it’s important and useful to take the time to read this book, especially if you yourself have SM, and especially if you’re a child, because it allows you to see that people want to understand, they want to help and they will accept and befriend you. Talking is not a necessity in gaining and maintaining friendships and the people who matter, the people who care about you (your friends) will remain patient and understanding as long as needed.

Daniel’s friend was full of curiosity and asked his mother many questions about Daniel and his SM. When curiosity about Daniel was the topic of the school playground, Daniel’s friend explained, “My Mom said some kids are so scared to talk that their words can’t come out”. Daniel’s friend was incredibly interested in learning about how he could help and be a good friend to Daniel, as were other children in Daniel’s class.

The only concern I have with this book is that it is very much based and focused on stereotypes. Nonetheless, this book still allows us some degree of insight into the condition from a child’s perspective. However, there is one part of the story that I don’t feel too comfortable with, “I’m going to be extra nice to him so he’ll talk to me one day”, as much as this can be read in a completely positive light, and indeed there is much positivity behind it, it also holds some concerns as it is potentially suggesting that there is a pressure to talk if a person is being nice to you, as well as giving the impression that a child with SM is to be treated as special with added attention. Although, of course, these comments and acts of apparent kindness do happen in schools, so I think it does hold some importance in being included in the book. It is important to remember that most children with SM want to be included, they want to be treated fairly and given the support and understanding they need, however they do not want to be singled out. A little further into the book, this is pointed out and rightly so, “we shouldn’t make a big deal when Daniel speaks. That would just make him feel more upset” which I think is an incredibly important key point.

Most of all, I thought the guide for parents and teachers, at the back of the book, is extremely useful. This guide explains that this book carries the theme of acceptance, diversity and equality, which is reassuring. I would agree, this book definitely not only helps children who have SM themselves, but it could be very helpful to children who do not have SM themselves, but know someone who does. It answers many questions and solves the confusion felt by many children trying to understand someone who doesn’t speak. Just as importantly, this guide also gives very brief but very accurate points and information on how teachers and parents can help and support their pupil, or child, with SM.

Overall, I would say that this book’s main purpose includes, to reassure children with SM that they are not going to be forced to speak, people will be patient and understanding and true friends will be supportive. At the same time it helps children without SM to understand children with selective mutism, or perhaps even it encourages other children to embrace and accept difference more broadly. My Friend Daniel Doesn’t Talk is a beneficial read and I would recommend anyone affected by SM to read it, whether that be first or second hand; children with SM, children without SM, teachers and parents.

Natasha Dale

Read more from Natasha at https://www.facebook.com/groups/1808261839396436/

Research: Autism and the sisterly bond

As the youngest of three siblings, with two older brothers I have been fascinated with how siblings interact. Playing with dolls and making up stories was my rest from running around the garden covered in mud with my brothers. During these hours I often wondered what it would be like to have a sister. Would we argue over toys and clothes, or would we share everything and get along perfectly? If our personalities were fundamentally different, would that make things easier or add another difficulty to the relationship?

This is what I have been investigating in my current research. Previous research has stated that sisters- when one has autism- have a more positive bond than a brother-sister or brother-brother pairs.  In my project ‘Understanding the experiences of sisters when one has Autism Spectrum Disorder’ I aim to hear the stories of sisters who have been effected by autism in one way or another, to gain an understanding of what may influence their relationship. Ultimately, I hope that this will add to the understanding of autism and sibling relationships and perhaps one day be used to improve the bond between siblings when one has autism.

Much of the current research focuses on the parent-child bond or the parent’s experiences. But the sibling relationship is often the longest relationship we will have in our lifetime, and it is so often overlooked in research and life in general. Furthermore, I would like to understand this research question from the perspective of the autistic sister to learn both sides of this fascinating bond.

I have already interviewed a number of neurotypical women who have an autistic sister. And I am now looking for autistic females who have a sister! Participants must be female, over the age of 16, have a diagnosis of ASD and have at least one sister.  If you, or anyone you know, are eligible and interested in being a part of this novel research, please get in touch with me at fhd1g14@soton.ac.uk

Participation will include one interview which will last no more than an hour- this can be done over the phone, skype or in person. Interviews will be recorded, transcribed and anonymised. Although some quotes may be used in the write up of the report, there will be no way of linking them back to you.  

I am hoping to have this research published in an academic journal and I would greatly appreciate any help in achieving this. Whether it is taking part or passing this on to anyone who may be interested.

Thanks for reading!

Ffion Davies

University of Southampton

Would you like your child to be ready for school and attend a quality holiday activity?

We have some summer group sessions running at our clinic base on the Staffordshire/Derbyshire border to help children be ready to start school. The sessions will look at:

• Confidence to communicate
• Attention
• Listening
• Memory
• Vocabulary
• Verbal reasoning

via games, activities and stories. We'll have fun while we learn! These sessions will be run by a fully qualified and experienced speech and language therapist.

Monday 14th August  to Thursday 17th August 9.30-11.30am

Cost: £200 per child. Spaces are limited so please apply early.

To book https://v1.bookwhen.com/smalltalk

Exciting new development: summer school for teenagers with social communication difficuties

We are delighted to announce that we will be running some intensive group sessions for young people with social communication difficulties at our lovely, peaceful clinic at Bartonfields.  We we also have evening classes available from september.

As teenagers move into their secondary school and young adult years, they experience increasingly complex social situations and academic curricula that require more nuanced social understanding, fine-tuned critical thinking, a higher level of executive functioning, etc. 

We use the work of Michelle Garcia Winner, the founder of Social Thinking, to provide valuable teaching tips and delve into the scope and sequence of using Social Thinking’s products with students ages 11-22 to improve self-regulation and social competencies.  The materials are helpful for students with social learning challenges (ranging from ASD levels 1 and 2, Asperger’s Syndrome, ADHD, etc.) or students who are un-diagnosed yet struggle with the rapidly increasing demands of social interpretation and related social skills. Some of the materials that will be using include Socially Curious and Curiously Social, Social Fortune or Social Fate, and Social Thinking and Me, and more. 

Monday 7th to Friday 11th August 2017 
Ages 11-14 9.15 am-12.15 pm 
Ages 15-22  1.15- 4.15 pm

Cost: £350 per young person. Limited spaces available. To book https://v1.bookwhen.com/smalltalk

  

Are you worried about your child's speech sounds, would an intensive course be just what they need?

We have some summer intensive group sessions running at our clinic base on the Staffordshire/Derbyshire border to help children with speech sound difficulties. The sessions will look at:

• phonological awareness
• auditory discrimination
• making a difference
• consolidating progress

via fun games, activities and stories. These sessions will be run by a fully qualified and experienced speech and language therapist.

Monday 14th August x to Thursday 17th August 1.00-3.00pm

Cost: £200 per child. Spaces are limited so please apply early.

Please email: office@smalltalk-ltd.co.uk  To book https://v1.bookwhen.com/smalltalk

ASPERGER’S SYNDROME IN 13-16 YEAR OLDS – a review

 

This easy to read informative book is written by Alis Rowe, the founder of The Girl With The Curly Hair.

There are many different books available on autism spectrum conditions, but not so many which are written by those who have an Autism Spectrum Condition themselves, so that makes this book all the more helpful. Unless you experience first-hand you can never fully understand, so the best resources and research you can find are those that are written and offered by those the condition themselves. Alis gives a real insight into Asperger’s syndrome and some of the hurdles teenagers with the condition may face.

With this book focusing on the early teen years, age 13-6 years, it gives a more direct look into Aspergers and what that can mean for this age group. Not only does this book offer information, reassurance and comfort to those with Asperger’s themselves, I also think this book could be a great help in allowing parents, siblings and family/ friends of the person with Asperger’s to grasp a better understanding.

Asperger’s Syndrome In 13-16 Year Olds, is written in such a straight forward way, it’s a very easy read but it still manages to focus on so much valuable information. It really gives you a clear idea of what living with Asperger’s can be like and it encourages you to learn about the similarities and differences between people who are neurotypical and those who have an ASC. Alis Rowe has given some useful advice and reminders, which will be really helpful to many. Alis has also encouraged the readers to see that difference is not wrong; it is something that a person should be aware of and there can be many positives with being different. She has included a very simple but effective illustration of an example of thinking in an alternative way, which shows that difference is something that can be embraced. This illustration also includes the caption “She sees the world differently”.

It’s almost as if this book has been stripped of unnecessary detail, which allows it to focus on key points and key messages, which is extremely beneficial. Alis talks about many aspects of having AS, including: sensory challenges, friendships, feeling lonely amongst others, the stresses of the school environment, the difficulties of the journey of adolescents, special interests and why those with AS might have some, or all, of these differences and challenges. I think this book is a must have for all teenagers with Asperger’s syndrome who are feeling confused and alone in being different.

Natasha Dale

https://www.facebook.com/TheGirlWithTheCurlyHair/

Doing what it takes........ a holistic approach

I am a speech and language therapist who sees children with ASD and/or complex communication difficulties including selective mutism. If I was in the NHS I would be called highly specialist. I see children who have many challenges, some of which are speech, language and communication but many also have extreme anxiety. It's a chicken and egg situation because if they didn't have Speech, Language and Communication Needs, they wouldn't be so anxious, if anxious at all, while the anxiety blocks their abilities both to understand and to express themselves. Therefore, to do my job properly, I have to know about anxiety and be able to address some of the issues alongside. Consequently,  have studied and  I use animal assisted therapy (AAT), CBT and NLP as part of my approach with traditional approaches including Social Thinking by Garcia Winner.

I discussed this recently at a RCSLT clinical excellence network. The responses were very interesting: completely polarised. Almost half the audience wanted to know more, took the references and 'where to go from here' information readily, the other half raised their eyebrows and shook their heads. There is a wealth of clinical evidence about all the approaches for counselling but they were disturbed because there isn't in speech and language therapy.

I use the animal assisted therapy by having Ralph (a certified PAT dog) in on sessions where I need the child/teenager to be relaxed so I can get on with the 'other stuff'. It works like a dream as he sits by them while they answer my questions or complete assessments. They can stroke him or ruffle his neck as they think or cry into his neck if they feel like it....he doesn't mind a bit.

The CBT is really just looking at the problem and breaking it down into baby steps, which is actually what most speech therapy is, while the NLP helps to shift negative mind sets.

The Social Thinking is a brilliant way of introducing the idea that social cognition is a vital area for us to get along with our fellow man even if we never wish to have a conversation with him.

I believe that we need to be more creative: there is no one-size fits all approach to these children and young adults. They've usually tried everything else by the time they come to me.

I know this blog-post will receive a polarised response too but I make no apology because my goal is to make a difference and not be just another professional who says they can't help because they don't fit traditional methods. As the saying goes: if we always do what we've always done, we'll always get the same results. We're lucky because we are not bound by commissioners or bureaucracy which imposes limits on what we do.

As a team, we have a wealth of clinical based evidence and that's sufficient for me: we achieve good, if not great, results!